Moment of Vanity

I looked DAMN good today - and I didn't just look good because I'm good looking. Though I do admit it feels damn good, looking as good as I do. I got up this morning, got ready for my day, and as I passed the mirror I was like "Damn, I look good today!" (This is a daily occurrence for me, btw.)

You all get this reaction every now and then and it can be the result of many things. Usually you just have a new outfit on that you really like. Or you just got your haircut and you feel real “fresh”. (Ha ha I said 'fresh'.)

Everyone should have this happen to them at least once a week because it really does feel good. Unfortunately, for most of you out there, this is just not the case. (Don’t hate!) You’re too ugly! Plain and simple.

But wait, do not fret, there's hope for you yet. You know how you get hundreds of emails a day promising to make your “man parts” bigger, if only you would only try out that new experimental pill. Well what if I told you, that you too can have that “Damn! I’m good looking!” feeling when ever you wanted. In the convenience of a spray on bottle! Bet you’d plop down that Amex real quick wouldn’t you!?

Think about how much more productive you would be in your day to day life if you felt as good as, "The 2008 Worlds Sexiest Man" Hugh Jackman, looks. Or imagine what you could do if you believed you looked even as hot as me! (I got second place, and demanded a recount!)

“What, there’s a cop flagging me down? Fuck him, I’m damn good looking!”

“What boss you need me to work on Saturday? Fuck you! I’m going home early cause I’m damn good looking!”

"Whats that Megan Fox? You want to marry me? OK!"

Shoot, think about how much better an actor Hugh Jackman would be if he had that “Damn! I’m good looking!” feeling everyday! He would be like, “Damn! I look almost as good as WhoIsMookie today!” We might never of had to sit through the wackness of his called "movie", Australia. Wolverine would be so much more bad ass!

So for all you would be Casanova’s out there that just don’t have that confidence to walk up to the hot chick at the bar. For all you "guys" out there that don't have a big enough pair to go out and get what you want. Call to order today or send me a check for $149.95 and I’ll send you a 26 oz bottle of my sweat. Spray it on your face, and just feel my awesomeness.

Operators are standing by.