What I've Learned So Far

A few weekends ago I got my hands on an airsoft gun from a friend of mine. It was sooo cool, the shiny full metal body. It had a gas firing mechanism that when I shot it, it would blow back like a real gun. I had fun playing with it as I sat on my couch taking aim at the recently purchased wall ornament affixed clear across the room and down the hallway. My aim got pretty good, over and over hitting the dead center. That quickly got boring. Then my wife came home from brunch with her “girlfriends”. This is where things started to go bad.

For some reason, the second she walked in and I saw her in her tight jeans I instinctively knew what to do. But before I could get the shot off, she said “Don’t even think about shooting me with that thing.”

Now ladies when you say something like that it basically is an invitation. For a second I did think about the consequences, they couldn’t be that bad, and I couldn’t resist the target. Then I took aim and shot off 5 rounds, three hitting their mark squarely on her butt cheeks. She yelled out in pain. Then my wife went on to outline the pain she felt for the next 20 minutes. Instantly I felt bad and had agreed to let her shoot me several times.

If you own an airsoft gun, be careful the urge may be too much to resist. If you end up purchasing one, then shooting your girl, and agreeing to let her shoot you in return, be sure not to be wearing shorts at the time. Loose fitting sweat pants would be much better at absorbing the initial sting. Also have an exit strategy mapped out, as well as, where to get your meals for the next couple of days.