Not So Complicated

Guys are simple. I have no idea why girls can't figure this out. In fact, Vanilla Ice even spelled it out pretty clearly in his hit song "Ice, Ice, Baby"

"If you gotta problem, yo, I'll solve it."

BAM! Lyrical genius.

Guys see the entire world that way - what is the problem, how can I fix it?

Here is an example of a guy's train of thought -

"Hmmm, my toothbrush looks like Carrot Top's head...I better go buy a new one."

Guy then goes to the store, picks up some random toothbrush based on some factor - extra bristles, tongue cleaner, Superman logo - and takes it to the counter and pays whatever price is for that toothbrush because that toothbrush is obviously the best.

Girls - no chance.

A girl will come home from the store with a stack of eight toothbrushes because her "favorite" toothbrush was on sale for a "crazy deal".

We, as guys, don't understand this.

Who needs eight toothbrushes? Maybe Jewel because her snaggle tooth rips those puppies to shreds, but what normal girl needs eight toothbrushes?

Second, who has a FAVORITE toothbrush? I, apparently, don't have enough intimacy with my toothbrush to have developed a lasting relationship. I have no idea what brand it is or any distinguishing features. I know it has this, like, handle thingy...and maybe some bristles on the end. I can't confirm that. If you asked me to name my favorite toothbrush I would say the giant one in Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

Finally, how do girls know how much a toothbrush costs to do a comparative analysis? When my toothbrush kicks the bucket and it is time to buy a new one - CVS could name any price they wanted. If I walked in and every toothbrush was $30 I wouldn't blink. My brain is too busy debating Megan Fox vs Alessandra Ambrosio to contain information about Oral-B.

Or maybe I'm just pissed my new toothbrush doesn't have a Superman logo.