Overslept

You know who I feel bad for? That guy in the office that always seems to end up having overslept his alarm and gets to work a half hour late!!!

OMG, can you imagine the thought!!!

Getting TOO much sleep?

So much sleep that you have to say that you actually OVERslept!!!

Oh the horror! Poor guy probably woke up all fully rested and without the ringing headache the rest of us get from the scream of the alarm clock.

I’ll tell you what a real problem is – UNDERsleeping. That fact that I wake up 20 minutes before the alarm goes off every single day.... sucks.

Do you know what you can do with those extra 20 minutes?

Absolutely fucking nothing, that’s what!

You can’t fall back asleep because the very second you finally do fall back to sleep you know your alarm is gonna go off. There’s some loopy time/space continuum that forces this to happen.

So what do I do? I get up. Make myself some toast, and turn on the news just in time to catch the story about the squirrel that was shot in a possible gang related incident. WTF?!? Oh it’s Fox News, don’t know how or why the TV was tuned to that channel. Then I throw on some clothes and head to work.

But I did a horrible job of wasting time so now I’m at work way early and no one is around to annoy with my stupid jokes. I try to surf the web, but I already heard the story about the squirrel shooting, so that sucks. Then I figure I should start to work but instead sit there staring at the wall, trying to remember what it was that I was dreaming about earlier that morning. An hour or so later, after everyone has trickled in and you finally forget about how horrible your morning was, your buddy comes running in….

“Holy shit, dude. I overslept! I know I set the alarm and everything.... I must have screwed up the AM/PM or something. This SUCKS man!!”

Poor guy. Maybe I’ll send him that article about the squirrel to brighten his day.